Evangelism Part 37: Sharing Truth with Family
Matthew 10:32-37 May 26, 2024
Introduction
Last time we studied how the enemy uses fear to keep us from sharing the kingdom
with others. Looked at 5 fears the enemy seeks to place within us
o I am afraid of not knowing what to say.
o I am afraid of rejection or failure.
o I am afraid of how they will respond to me.
o I am afraid to share my story.
o I am afraid that I am a hypocrite.
Fear of Man (broadly speaking, fear of what other people will think of me) is often
especially prevalent with our most intimate relationships – close friends and family.
What happens when those people are not followers of Jesus?
o No doubt, on some level, each of you have had an experience of sharing the
gospel with your friends or family or an experience of having it shared with you by
a family member or close friend.
We heard several testimonies last week of success, failure, and still hopeful
expectation of folks who have sought to share the Kingdom of Heaven with
their families.
o It is not easy to share truth with those who know us best – probably because they
know how we were before we knew Jesus – or know how we may sometimes be
now even after we’ve submitted to Christ.
o Jesus knew this struggle well. Jesus, after preaching in his hometown said, Luke
4:24 “…“Truly, I say to you, no prophet is acceptable in his hometown.”
o It is precisely because of this difficult dynamic that Jesus includes the
encouragement we will read today as He is bringing His instructions in evangelism
to a close in this chapter.
Matthew 10:32-37 “32 So everyone who acknowledges me before men, I also will
acknowledge before my Father who is in heaven, 33 but whoever denies me before
men, I also will deny before my Father who is in heaven. 34 “Do not think that I have
come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. 35 For I
have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a
daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. 36 And a person’s enemies will be those of
his own household. 37 Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of
me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.”
We’re going to break this text down into three expositional sections (denial, division,
and devotion), and then close with some practical pointers on sharing the kingdom with
our families.
Denial (v32-33)
“32 So everyone who acknowledges me before men, I also will acknowledge before my
Father who is in heaven, 33 but whoever denies me before men, I also will deny before
my Father who is in heaven.”
Recognize at outset that this verse starts with “so” or “therefore” …Jesus is directly
correlating fear with denial – and in the context of the verses that follow, the most likely
people that we are to fear is our family and friends. Therefore, the most likely people to
whom we would live a life of denial of Christ is to our family and friends.
Deny (Gk. arneomai) to disown or disavow, to disregard or disassociate
o The Greek tense (aorist, constative) refers not to one moment of denial (e.g.,
Peter’s denial as Christ’s “trial”), but to a life lived in denial of Christ as Lord of
your life
Jesus is NOT saying that a believer can lose their salvation if, in a moment or season of
weakness, they give into their fleshly fear and deny Christ.
o While a genuine believer (like Peter) may occasionally have a moment of denial of
Christ, the true follower of Jesus – like Peter – will return to Christ in repentance
and will not continue to deny their King. Denial of Jesus is not the pattern of their
life. Only an unbeliever continually lives a life of denial. This verse is a warning
that a life of denial like this – even by one who may say they are a “Christian” –
will ultimately be brought under the judgment of the Lord as he exposes their
false profession of faith and denies them a place in eternity with our heavenly
father.
Denial is driven by fear – fear of others, fear of giving up control, fear of giving up
something you think you want or can’t live without, fear of trusting in someone other
than yourself, fear of so many things that our pride is driven by.
o Here, Jesus is very clear that fear driven denial will lead to death if that marks our
life and He is calling us to trust in Him, to let Him take away our fears, to let Him
remove our prideful need to control and be liked, and live lives of acknowledging
Him as Lord as we serve His kingdom and share His truth, love, hope, and light
with all those around us – especially our family.
Division (v34-36)
34 “Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring
peace, but a sword. 35 For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter
against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. 36 And a person’s
enemies will be those of his own household.”
How are we to understand Jesus words here when He says, “Do not think that I have
come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword.”? These
words right after Jesus instructs those He sends out on how to find households of peace
and persons of peace; even as Jesus Himself is referred to as the Prince of Peace (see
Isaiah 9:6), and Jesus will later say, John 14:27 “My peace I give to you.”
o There is a difference between the purpose of Christ’s coming to Earth – which is
to reconcile mankind to God through His atoning death on the cross – and the
result of His ministry.
His design was to bring peace—peace with God for unbelievers (see
Romans 5:1) and eventually, the peace of God for believers (see Philippians
4:7), and He calls us to be peacemakers (see Matthew 5:9).
Unfortunately, because of the brokenness of sin, the deception of the
enemy, and the pride of our flesh, the immediate consequence of Christ’s
coming was to divide those who were for Him and those who were against
Him— to separate those who are of the Kingdom of Heaven from those
who are, at least currently, of the kingdom of the world.
o Therefore, Jesus does not mince words or hide the fact that people will reject
Him. And when the people closest to us reject our new Master, Savior, and King –
they will also reject us and there will be division instead of peace.
In fact, Jesus experienced this from His own family, Mark 3:21 “20 Then he
went home, and the crowd gathered again, so that they could not even eat.
21 And when his family heard it, they went out to seize him, for they were
saying, “He is out of his mind.””; John 7:5 “For not even his brothers
believed in him.”
Micah 7:5-7 “5 Put no trust in a neighbor; have no confidence in a friend; guard the
doors of your mouth from her who lies in your arms; 6 for the son treats the father with
contempt, the daughter rises up against her mother, the daughter-in-law against her
mother-in-law; a man’s enemies are the men of his own house. 7 But as for me, I will
look to the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me.”
Ultimately, what Jesus is taking the sword to, what Jesus’s ministry dismantles, is the
false peace that this world offers. The reality of the kingdom of heaven being at hand –
Jesus’s kingdom that we proclaim to all who will listen, which hopefully includes our
family, but may not – is a disruption and repudiation of the false constructs, the
fantasies that the people of this world live within. And the loving, merciful, and gracious
thing to do is to expose those deception-filled fantasies for what they are.
o Unfortunately, many of our closest friends and family do not want to let go of
their deception, which is why, should they persist in their fantasy, Jesus says that
there will be division.
Devotion (v37)
“37 Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever
loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. 38 And whoever does not take
his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. 39 Whoever finds his life will lose it, and
whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”
o Put simply, in this text Jesus does not prohibit love of our family, but calls for our
greatest love and devotion to be toward Himself
Luke 14:26 “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and
mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his
own life, he cannot be my disciple.”
Of course, Jesus is not saying to hate those who are closest to us –
the proper understanding of this Hebrew idiom is to love these
people less than we love our Savior and King. Our devotion to the
Lord should be higher than anything else – even ourselves – which is
why we are called to love not our lives even unto death (see
Revelation 12:11).
Judaism was a family religion in which the people worshiped by
households rather than as individuals. Therefore, Jesus knew that his
claims would cause a battle of loyalties within this close family
religious structure and He is calling us to choose Him over our family
– even as we seek to win our family to the call of Christ.
Matthew 19:29 And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or
mother or children or lands, for my name’s sake, will receive a hundredfold and will
inherit eternal life.
And why would we leave those things for Christ? Put simply, His love. Because of Jesus’s
surpassing love for us, He died that we may live; He intercedes for us now for things we
don’t even realize we need; He has given us access to our heavenly father by cleansing
us of our sin and making us white as snow – all becomes of His love for us. As we
understand His love for us more and more deeply, we in turn can love and devote
ourselves to Him more deeply. This is the way of humbly trusting in Jesus and living for
His kingdom and not the various kingdoms of this world.
o Napoleon understood this principle when he said, “I know men; and I tell you that
Jesus Christ is no mere man. Between him and every other person in the world
there is no possible term of comparison. Alexander [the Great], Caesar,
Charlemagne, and I have founded empires. But on what did we rest the creations
of our genius? Upon force. Jesus Christ founded his empire upon love; and this
hour millions of men would die for him.”
Practical Considerations
It is because of this love and devotion that each of us serve our King and spread the
good news of His kingdom. No more important people for us to share with than our
family, so here are some practical considerations for that in light of our text today:
Know your identity as a child of God first and foremost.
o Maintain loving relationship with your family and friends, but your identity is not
in your name or your blood, if you are a submitted follower of Jesus, your identity
is in the Christ.
Matthew 12:46-50 “46 While he was still speaking to the people, behold,
his mother and his brothers stood outside, asking to speak to him. 48 But
he replied to the man who told him, “Who is my mother, and who are my
brothers?” 49 And stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said,
“Here are my mother and my brothers! 50 For whoever does the will of my
Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.””
By grace through faith, we are adopted into God’s family – which in the
spiritually legal sense means we are not members of our earthly family any
longer.
The gospels records several would-be disciples who rejected Jesus’ call to
follow Him because they would not let go of their family ties. One wanted
his inheritance, another wanted to take care of family business, another
wanted to keep the comforts of his lifestyle. .” (See Luke 9:57-61) Of such
divided commitment Jesus said, Luke 9:62 “No one who puts his hand to
the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God.”
Evaluate whether your daily life is evidencing acknowledgement of Christ.
o Let’s pretend we were all mute – if the way you live your life was the only
evidence of your submission to Jesus – would people know whose kingdom you
serve?
Everyone is watching – especially your family – and to the people who
know you best, it doesn’t matter what you say if your life is not lived in
acknowledgement of the Lord.
How you do prioritize your schedule, in what activities do you
participate, what media do you consume, on what do you spend your
money, these questions and so many more are only focused on our
actions. Our words are a whole other story.
Our verbal acknowledgement of the Lord is not likely going to have
much weight if our actions do not align with our profession.
Matthew 7:15-23 “15 “Beware of false prophets [“Christians”], who
come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. 16
You will recognize them by their fruits. Are grapes gathered from
thornbushes, or figs from thistles? 17 So, every healthy tree bears
good fruit, but the diseased tree bears bad fruit. 18 A healthy tree
cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a diseased tree bear good fruit. 19
Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into
the fire. 20 Thus you will recognize them by their fruits. 21 “Not
everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of
heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.
22 On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy
in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many
mighty works in your name?’ 23 And then will I declare to them, ‘I
never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’”
Our actions will prove the sincerity of our profession of faith. And
when we are sharing the gospel, transformed lives speak much
louder then empty theological statements.
We are not called to be perfect – Christ’s perfection covers us, praise
the Lord – but we are called to be faithfully, humbly, obedient and
the watching world – especially our closest friends and family will see
that.
If you have sinned against your family the most meaningful way to share the gospel is to
own your sin and ask them for forgiveness
o Evidence a life of repentance and sincere pursuit of transformation as you follow
Christ.
When it’s time to open your mouth, remember to winsomely, wisely speak truth in love.
o No one likes being called out, no one likes being told their wrong, no one likes
being confronted, no one likes feeling condemned.
It is rarely useful or appropriate to wield a sledgehammer when we are
sharing the love of Christ.
Remember that transformation is a process
o When we are sharing truth with anyone – certainly our family – ask the Lord for
patience and small victories as by God’s grace we walk with them step by step
closer to Jesus. Usually, it is a marathon and not a sprint.
Trials, tribulations, and tragedies are critical for you to share the love of Christ through
o Be present, be understanding…listen to their hurt. Identify lies and meet those
lies with the truth of the gospel.
o Your job is not change, your job is to love and speak truth in love.
Pray and discern your way forward
o Sometimes God says, “Do not go there.” Recognize spiritual boundaries put up by
the Lord and the other person to maintain health of relationship. Recognize your
own boundaries. When is it time to cut ties? It’s more difficult to “shake the dust”
in a family relationship so be careful of burning bridges. However, if it’s necessary,
then continue to pray the Lord uses someone else; but don’t use that as a cop-out
and, if possible, try to leave the door open for an eventual and hopeful
reconciliation.
Amen. Amen.