Evangelism Part 30: Forgiveness
Matthew 10:14-15 February 18, 2024
Recap and Introduction
Matthew 10:12-15 “12 As you enter the house, greet it. 13 And if the house is worthy,
let your peace come upon it, but if it is not worthy, let your peace return to you. 14 And
if anyone will not receive you or listen to your words, shake off the dust from your feet
when you leave that house or town. 15 Truly, I say to you, it will be more bearable on
the day of judgment for the land of Sodom and Gomorrah than for that town.”
As we go through life, we will be wronged. So much so that shaking the dust off our
feet, is not enough. We will receive the weight of pain as we are hurt, abused,
demeaned, shamed, mocked, mistreated, persecuted, and sinned against in an infinite
number of ways.
o Because of this reality of following Jesus, someone who is called to be a
proclaimer of the Kingdom, a sharer of the gospel of Jesus Christ, a peacemaker –
has to learn, by God’s grace – to also be a forgiver of the wrongs done to them.
o C.S. Lewis once said “Everyone says forgiveness is a lovely idea, until they have
something to forgive.”
o Lysa Terkeurst expressed in her book Forgiving What You Can’t Forget the idea
that peace in one’s life is merely the evidence of a life of forgiveness….We can
either live in the comfort of peace or the constraint of unforgiveness… cynicism,
bitterness, resentment, delay, and trust issues are all evidence of unforgiveness –
they do not make for a life of peace.
It can be difficult to listen to a teaching on forgiveness without the situation/person who
is the object of unforgiveness at the forefront of your mind and think.
Forgiveness Defined
“Forgive” (Gk. aphiemi) {af-ee’-ay-mee} – Literally, to send from one’s self, to forsake, to
hurl away, to cast off, to let go. Conveys the idea that you have acted to totally detach
and totally separate from the thing that has been cast.
o In secular Greek literature, aphiemi was a word used to indicate the sending away
of an object or a person. Aphiemi was used to describe the voluntary release of a
person or thing over which one has legal or actual control. The related noun
aphesis described a setting free. Later it came to include the release of someone
from the obligation of marriage, or debt, or even a religious vow. In its final form
it came to embrace the principle of release from punishment for some
wrongdoing.
o In Greek judicial system, aphiemi was used to describe the release from a legal
bond, to acquit (e.g. cancellation of criminal proceedings, or to exempt from guilt,
obligation, or punishment).
aphiemi occurs 146 times in the NT. It has the sense of “forgive” 49 of these
times, 44 of which occur in the Gospels.
In the Septuagint, aphiemi is used in Lev 16:10 to describe the sending of
the scapegoat into the wilderness with all of the sins of the people placed
upon it on Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement…so that the people could be
free of the punishment of the law for their sins for that year.
o As it relates to God’s aphiemi of us, it means God releases the obligation we
“owe” Him because of sin against His holiness (i.e. our death). It means He
releases us from the guilt or penalty that is owed, as one would a financial debt.
Through the shedding of His own blood, Jesus Christ actually took the sins
of the world upon His own head (just like the scapegoat in Leviticus 16),
and carried them an infinite distance away from where they could never
return.
Psalm 103:12 “as far as the east is from the west, so far has He
removed our transgressions from us.”
o To ancient Israel the distance from east to west and “the
depths of the sea” represented infinity. God’s forgiveness is
infinite; it takes away our trespasses to the farthest reaches of
eternal infinity.
Kenneth Wuest, a biblical scholar and expert on biblical Greek, explained aphiemi from
God’s perspective noting that “It refers to the act of putting something away. God did
that at the Cross when He put sin away by incarnating Himself in humanity in the Person
of His Son, stepping down from His judgment throne, assuming the guilt of man’s sin,
and paying the penalty, thus, satisfying His justice, and making possible an offer of
mercy on the basis of justice satisfied. When a sinner avails himself of the merits of that
atoning sacrifice, he thus puts himself within the provision God made. His sins were put
away at the Cross, and he comes into the benefit of that when he believes.”(see Wuest’s
Word Studies in the Greek New Testament)
Biblical forgiveness then is the supernaturally enabled, humbly obedient act of will – not
necessarily emotions – as we release the right of punishment against the one who has
wronged us. This will be an ongoing process depending on the depths and pervasiveness
of the hurt that is being released into the hands of the Lord to judge.
Source Unknown – “Two little brothers, we’re going to call them Jackson and Connor,
had finished supper and were playing before bedtime. Somehow, Connor hit Jackson
with a stick, and tears and bitter words followed. Charges and accusations were still
being exchanged as their mother prepared them for bed she walked them through sin
and forgiveness (a conversation they had had many times before). The boys remained
obstinate in their hurt blaming one another. Eventually, she said, “Now boys, what
would happen if either of you died tonight and you never had the opportunity again to
forgive one another?” They thought for a moment until Jackson spoke up, “Well, OK, I’ll
forgive him tonight, but if we’re both alive in the morning, he’d better look out.”
o How often do we hold onto our grudges…and choose not to forgive?
o Who has hurt you or wronged? Parent, child, uncle, husband, wife, neighbor,
boss, co-worker, total stranger
What pain do you hold onto? What situation or circumstance causes anger
within you, resentment, or bitterness (which defiles many, see Hebrews
12:15)? What sense of unfairness or injustice do you hold onto? What
feelings of abandonment or betrayal remain in your heart? Do you have a
hard time trusting people or allowing people to get close to you
emotionally and relationally? What unmet expectations can you not forget,
situations you experienced that continue to grieve you and eat at you?
These things may be signs of unforgiveness.
o If we are to be ambassadors of the Kingdom of Heaven and the peace that only
Jesus Christ can bring, we must learn to forgive as we obediently go out to share
the gospel message with those who will sin against us (and, sadly, that may often
be with folks who call themselves Christians).
Forgiveness Demonstrated
Matthew 18:21-35 “21 Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my
brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” 22 Jesus said to
him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times. 23 “Therefore the
kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his
servants. 24 When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten
thousand talents. 25 And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with
his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. 26 So the servant fell
on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ 27
And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the
debt. 28 But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who
owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what
you owe.’ 29 So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with
me, and I will pay you.’ 30 He refused and went and put him in prison until he should
pay the debt. 31 When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly
distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. 32 Then
his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that
debt because you pleaded with me. 33 And should not you have had mercy on your
fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’ 34 And in anger his master delivered him to the
jailers, until he should pay all his debt. 35 So also my heavenly Father will do to every
one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.” (see also Luke 17:3-4)
How to forgive:
o 1) Understand that you are forgiven for your sin through Christ
Isaiah 38:17 “Behold, it was for my welfare that I had great bitterness; but
in love you have delivered my life from the pit of destruction, for you have
cast all my sins behind your back.”
Micah 7:18-19 “18 Who is a God like you, pardoning iniquity and passing
over transgression for the remnant of his inheritance? He does not retain
his anger forever, because he delights in steadfast love. 19 He will again
have compassion on us; he will tread our iniquities underfoot. You will cast
all our sins into the depths of the sea.”
One of the greatest enemies of our ability to forgive others is whether we
are willing to receive the Lord’s forgiveness, forgive ourselves, and walk in
the freedom of God’s mercy and grace.
The famous psychiatrist Karl Menninger once opined that if he could
convince the patients in the psychiatric hospitals that their sins are
forgiven, 75 percent of them could walk out the next day, if they
would only accept that forgiveness and forgive themselves.
The more we understand the depths and breadth of our forgiveness, the
more freely we should grow in our ability to forgive – this is supernatural
act of sanctification as the Holy Spirit refines us to be more and more like
Jesus.
Luke 23:34 “And Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not
what they do.””
o 2) Understand you have no right to condemn
To the extent you are not forgiving someone, you have made yourself to
the condemner of that person – you have made yourself to be God.
Matthew 6:12-15 “12 and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven
our debtors. 13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. 14
For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also
forgive you, 15 but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will
your Father forgive your trespasses.
Archibald Hart, quotes in James Dobson, Love Must Be Tough “Forgiveness
is surrendering my right to hurt you for hurting me.”
o 3) Mercifully release the right to condemn to the Lord who is the Judge
Forgiveness is not some psychological or emotional switch that we flip.
Forgiveness is a God-enabled act of compassionate mercy to one who does
not deserve it tat we render as the Holy Spirit of God enables us to see our
sin and humbly and obediently release the eternal consequences of
someone’s sin against us to the eternal Judge.
Luke 6:37 “Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you
will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven” (see also Mark
11:25)
Unknown – “He that doth not forgive burns the bridge over which he
himself must needs pass.”
o 4) Trust in the Judge to render justice and righteousness, in this life or the next.
Isaiah 33:22 “For the Lord is our judge; the Lord is our lawgiver; the Lord is
our king; he will save us.”
Hebrews 4:13 “And no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked
and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account.”
Corrie Ten Boom “Forgiveness is an act of the will, and the will can function
regardless of the temperature of the heart.”
As we trust in the Judge to render justice, we can make the choice to
release the hurt, pain, and condemnation to the Lord.
Forgiveness is NOT: (Adapted from Dr. Larry Petton, “I Can’t Forgive”)
o Simple
Complex act of volition that may not yet be followed by our emotion
o Natural
Our flesh will not forgive of its own volition – it is a supernatural act of God
to move in us to let go of our right to condemn.
o A One-time Event
Process of release as the Lord heals our hurt and enables us to set up
appropriate boundaries emotionally, relationally, physically, financially, and
spiritually.
o Approval/Tolerance
We do not approve sin nor do we tolerate it
We allow the Judge of the universe to deal with the condemnation of
Sin…we release it to Him.
o Denial/Forgetting
We do not deny that we have been sinned against or pretend it never
happened. It is not “ok” to be the object of someone’s sinful choices,
words, and actions.
We do not minimize the hurt and pain caused by Sin
We recognize sin and release it to the Lord so that He can work His hand of
healing within us.
Forgiveness is the prerequisite for healing and deliverance for the
chains of bitterness that the enemy seeks to trap us within, long after
the person who sinned against us has moved on. Allow the Lord to
work His healing by releasing the sin to Him.
o Dependent on an Apology or Request for Forgiveness
We forgive because it is what our Master has done for us and what He asks
us to do for others, regardless of whether we think they deserve it or if they
have asked for it
o Relationship Restoration (necessarily)
We may not ever trust the person who has sinned against us, nor be in
relationship again – but that does not prevent us from releasing them to
the Lord.
Conclusion
From Corrie Ten Boom “It was in a church in Munich that I saw him, a balding heavyset
man in a gray overcoat, a brown felt hat clutched between his hands. People were filing
out of the basement room where I had just spoken, moving along the rows of wooden
chairs to the door at the rear. It was 1947 and I had come from Holland to defeated
Germany with the message that God forgives. It was the truth they needed most to hear
in that bitter, bombed-out land, and I gave them my favorite mental picture. Maybe
because the sea is never far from a Hollander’s mind, I liked to think that that’s where
forgiven sins were thrown. “When we confess our sins,” I said, “God casts them into the
deepest ocean, gone forever.” The solemn faces stared back at me, not quite daring to
believe. There were never questions after a talk in Germany in 1947. People stood up in
silence, in silence collected their wraps, in silence left the room. And that’s when I saw
him, working his way forward against the others. One moment I saw the overcoat and
the brown hat; the next, a blue uniform and a visored cap with its skull and crossbones.
It came back with a rush: the huge room with its harsh overhead lights, the pathetic pile
of dresses and shoes in the center of the floor, the shame of walking naked past this
man. I could see my sister’s frail form ahead of me, ribs sharp beneath the parchment
skin. Betsie, how thin you were! Betsie and I had been arrested for concealing Jews in
our home during the Nazi occupation of Holland; this man had been a guard at
Ravensbrück concentration camp where we were sent. Now he was in front of me, hand
thrust out: “A fine message, fräulein! How good it is to know that, as you say, all our sins
are at the bottom of the sea!” And I, who had spoken so glibly of forgiveness, fumbled in
my pocketbook rather than take that hand. He would not remember me, of course–how
could he remember one prisoner among those thousands of women? But I remembered
him and the leather crop swinging from his belt. It was the first time since my release
that I had been face to face with one of my captors and my blood seemed to freeze.
“You mentioned Ravensbrück in your talk,” he was saying. “I was a guard in there.” No,
he did not remember me. “But since that time,” he went on, “I have become a Christian.
I know that God has forgiven me for the cruel things I did there, but I would like to hear
it from your lips as well. Fräulein”–again the hand came out–“will you forgive me?” And
I stood there–I whose sins had every day to be forgiven–and could not. Betsie had died
in that place–could he erase her slow terrible death simply for the asking? It could not
have been many seconds that he stood there, hand held out, but to me it seemed hours
as I wrestled with the most difficult thing I had ever had to do. For I had to do it–I knew
that. The message that God forgives has a prior condition: that we forgive those who
have injured us. “If you do not forgive men their trespasses,” Jesus says, “neither will
your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses.” I knew it not only as a commandment of
God, but as a daily experience. Since the end of the war I had had a home in Holland for
victims of Nazi brutality. Those who were able to forgive their former enemies were able
also to return to the outside world and rebuild their lives, no matter what the physical
scars. Those who nursed their bitterness remained invalids. It was as simple and as
horrible as that. And still I stood there with the coldness clutching my heart. But
forgiveness is not an emotion–I knew that too. Forgiveness is an act of the will, and the
will can function regardless of the temperature of the heart. “Jesus, help me!” I prayed
silently. “I can lift my hand. I can do that much. You supply the feeling.” And so
woodenly, mechanically, I thrust my hand into the one stretched out to me. And as I did,
an incredible thing took place. The current started in my shoulder, raced down my arm,
sprang into our joined hands. And then this healing warmth seemed to flood my whole
being, bringing tears to my eyes. “I forgive you, brother!” I cried. “With all my heart!”
For a long moment we grasped each other’s hands, the former guard and the former
prisoner. I had never known God’s love so intensely as I did then.”
Let us walk in the love of God as Corrie did. Let us know the forgiveness of our God and
by His grace, extend that forgiveness to those who wrong us that we may be true
peacemakers who proclaim with our words, actions, and forgiveness that the kingdom
of heaven is at hand.
Amen. Amen.