3D Worship Part 10 – Humility Before Honor: The 5th Commandment

Date
March 2, 2026
Speaker
Mark Savaglio
Topic
10 Commandments, Children, Family
Series
3D Worship

LINK TO ACCOMPANYING BIBLE STUDY: Honoring Mother and Father Through the Life of Jesus

Deuteronomy 5:16

[16] “‘Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may go well with you in the land that the LORD your God is giving you. (ESV)

Prayer

Intro-

Did you know that this is the only God given commandment in all of the old testament that commands honor be shown to anyone? The new testament is filled with more specific commands of how the follower of Christ is to show honor like,
1. we are to honor the government,
2. we are to compete with one another in showing honor to each other,
3. we are to obey and to submit to those who are our leaders in the church, because they will need to give an account over your souls, and we are to
4. give double honor to those who do it well.
These are just some of the commands given through the authors of the new testament that govern how as followers of Christ we are to relate to authority.
But in the old testament, none of those commands exist, there is no command to honor the king, or the priest or the elder, the fifth commandment stands alone in this regard of honoring.
I believe that the reason behind this is that when the fifth commandment is lived out with a right heart, all of the other more specific expressions of honor that we can see issued in the new testament will naturally flow out of this very expression of worship that is the fifth commandment.

The meaning of honor is something that can be extremely tough to nail down in terms of what it looks like.
1. Showing honor in one situation can be very differently expressed in another one. Context really means everything when showing honor.
2. But honor is not a foreign concept to the world, and often the actions behind showing honor in a secular context and from what we can gather from the bible can often look very similar, if not identical.
3. They are different however and the real difference comes down to the heart behind the showing of honor.

On the surface, this command would appear to be instructional, how we as worshipers of God are to relate to authority, even specifically in this command this is addressing the unique child-parent relationship.
1. But this command reaches far beyond the outward actions that can be witnessed between a child and their parent.
2. This commandment demands something in the heart of the worshiper that they are unable to produce in their own discipline. This is humility.
So for today’s message my hope and plan is two fold.
1. First, to highlight what honor is itself from a Christ centered perspective and how this commandment is not merely seeking to dictate our actions, but is aimed specifically at our character, from which our actions will flow out from.
2. The second goal and hope I have is that we all will have a growing certainty that we are utterly unable to live out this commandment without the Lord empowering us to do so, and you would grow in confidence that is exactly what He wants to do in your life.
  1. For the Lord does not call the equipped, but He does equip the called.

What is Honor-

As we dive into a greater understanding of the fifth commandment one thing that is essential that you must first understand is that this is a command for everyone.
1. Not all of us are parents, but all of us are somebody’s child. This commandment covers the broad spectrum of the child-parent relationship.
2. Whether you are young or old the words of this commandment were meant for all of us to hear, and obey

Words are so important, especially when it comes to God’s words.
1. The Lord could have put a lot of words in this fifth commandment other than honor.
2. He could have said children obey your parents, or children respect your parents, or children you need to look out for your parents and take care of them when they can no longer take care of themselves, or children you must like your parents.
3. But He does not say any of those things, He intentionally used the word honor,
4. Honor puts a far greater weight on the character required to live out this commandment from which our actions will flow from.

So what is honor, as a simple definition to keep in mind for this sermon, to show honor is an action that demonstrates both dignity and worth.
1. Before anything else I think it is important that we understand not just what honor is, but maybe even more importantly the things that honor is not.
2. Because the very idea of honor, whether intentionally or not, is often misunderstood and can be used as a device of control and manipulation that will result in heavy burdens and expectations placed on the shoulders of children.
3. Hear me, and track with me on what I say what honor is not.
  1. You can’t say that honor is obedience, because there is a natural point in life where a child should no longer be expected to obey, after a certain point that would become an unhealthy expectation that is not rooted in truth
    1. Children grow up, and when a child becomes an adult-child, ideally, they will have had godly parents showing them how to turn to God for direction and validation of their lives and no longer be reliant on them for that.
  2. You can’t say that honor is respect, because God never will never ask us to celebrate sin or to give approval to that which He hates. Jesus met people in their sin, freed them from it and then told them to sin no more.
4. But yet God still calls us to honor others.
  1. We are called to honor those who disagree with us and
  2. even to honor people who have rejected God himself, and we are called to honor those who are both worthy and not worthy of receiving honor.
  3. To show honor, is to show an action that demonstrates both dignity and worth to another person and truthfully we all know it is far easier to honor those who are worthy of it, but to truly honor those who are not worthy of it is why this commandment is placing a far greater demand over our character than our actions.

To show an action that communicates both dignity and worth is really going to be something that will look greatly different from situation to situation.
1. It will look different based on how old you are,
  1. whether your parents live near or far,
  2. whether it is going to be healthy or unhealthy for you to have a close relationship with them,
  3. If your parents are still alive or not this commandment for a child to honor their parents even goes beyond death itself,
    1. but obviously that will look greatly different then for parents who are alive and that is the point I am trying to make here,
  4. even what culture you live in will play a large part in this.
    1. A little story to illustrate this point better, there was this Greek historian named Herodotus, and he had recorded an account from the life of King Darius of Persia. One day King Darius, in an attempt to better understand the vastly different people who made up his empire, asked a group of Greeks, who showed honor to their dead fathers by burning their bodies, the king asked how much money it would take for them to eat their fathers’ dead bodies instead of burning them. Absolutely horrified by the question, the Greeks adamantly stated that no amount of money would ever persuade them to eat their father’s corpses. Then King Darius asked an Indian tribe on the other side of his empire, who honored their dead parents by eating their bodies believing that after death their parents lives would be literally lived out through their own lives, the king asked them how much money it would take for them to burn their dead parents bodies instead of eating them and they had given the very same emphatic response that the Greeks had given.
2. Honor from person to person, place to place, and even from time to time is going to look different.

Honor of the world-

As part of being made in God’s image is the reality that it is out of the character of the person in which actions will flow from.
1. Philosophically, for those who are curious, this is a principle demonstrating what is called ontological priority,
2. That is for us as human beings, character comes before actions.
3. This is true universally, so whether honor is being done in a way that is considered worship to the Lord, or if honor is being done from a secular perspective it will come as a result of our character.

Honor is not a foreign concept to the world, it is something that when it is seen it is recognized, but perhaps even more clearly recognized dishonor is being seen.
1. There is a fundamental difference between the honor that the world is able to show and the honor that the follower of Christ is able to show.
  1. One way is worshiping God, and the other way is not.
  2. The honor that comes from the world is something that needs to be earned, either by reputation, or even by attaining position, rank or title.
2. But for the followers of Christ, honor is given solely because every human life is made in God’s image and therefore deserves to be shown dignity and value for that fact alone.
  1. How we show honor to all those who are made in God’s image is a direct reflection of the love that we have for our God
    1. If honor can be earned, it could be lost.
      1. The Christian worldview says you can be shown greater honor, but everyone is entitled to being shown dignity and worth as fellow image bearers of God
3. There is no other world view, that if it were truly honest with their logic, that demonstrates that every human life is worthy of honor, or showing dignity and worth, simply because they are a fellow human being,
  1. Now, many worldviews will claim that they do this, but then will seek to qualify what it means to be human.
  2. This is kind of like when Jesus told the story of the good samaritan,
    1. where the person Jesus was talking to was looking for a way to whittle down this size of the list of who was considered his neighbor that he was to show love to.
  3. That is what every other worldview will do, they will put qualifications on who is to be considered a human and who to be considered something other than human.

The unfortunate the fruit that comes from a result from putting qualifications on who is human and who is “other”,
1. result in the ongoing human atrocities of genocide, abortion, sex trafficing, slavery, elder abuse
  1. that all continue everywhere in the world and in only increasing numbers.
  2. Life unworthy of life, was a phrase coined in Germany in world war two but the ideology was not invented then.
  3. This has been something that has been happening since Cain killed Able, and has never been more strong and alive than what it is today even in our culture that God has placed us in today.

We live in a culture where peoples’ entire identity is rooted in what they feel is right,
1. and when someone states a belief in something contrary to what they feel is correct, a lot of the time result in served relationships,
  1. in order to avoid any potential for hurt, even when it comes to the parent-child relationship.
  2. It is an unfortunate reality that many people in our secular culture will even advocate for children to cut their parents out of their lives for reasons that genuinely should not warrant such a drastic measure, such as holding a different view on politics
2. Speaking of politics, there is perhaps no clearer picture in American culture that the concept of honor is disintegrating before our very eyes.
  1. Just look at the last two presidencies and how our culture had responded to the highest political office in the land.
  2. This is not something that was witnessed by our grandparents’ generation.
    1. I do not make this point flippantly, but rather only to show in a secular worldview, honor was once determined by reputation, or title, rank, or position and that is deteriorating before our very eyes in every way of life.
      1. The intensity of politics just makes this such a clear reflection on our culture as a whole
    2. The world can not help but to begin to put qualifications on the people that they believe are to be shown honor.

God Honoring Honor-

Beloved, it is the fifth commandment where God says you are not to behave as the kids from other families, because you belong to me, you carry my name with you, and that is not what we do as a family.
1. We must stand firm as a church, we must be a beacon of hope, for those in the world, so that when they fall to their knees exhausted, no longer have the energy to keep fighting and throwing punches, that they will see who it is they can turn to, and when they turn to us for hope we can point them to where our hope comes from, and who it is in.
2. Brothers and sisters, are you living the kind of life that will encourage the very people who once put you in the category of “others”, who once hated everything you believed and represented, to one day be able to turn you when God starts to work on their hearts and allow you to point them to the way, the truth and the life?
  1. Do you live a life that shows honor to all, regardless of how they treat you? Or what they believe?
  2. That lifestyle is what flows out living the fifth commandment, honoring your Father and Mother with a heart that is seeking to worship God
    1. because in order live this commandment out in a way that would be worshipful to the Lord it requires the character of humility
    2. Not being a doormat, or thinking less of yourself, but rather true Christ centered humility.
3. This is not just hard, this is impossible. It is impossible to do without the empowerment of the Holy Spirit

I have to confess church, historically, I have not done so well with this commandment, but by God’s grace He has done a great work in my heart, and is continuing to do so by working out my pride in my own heart and to Him be all the glory in this.
1. But when I think of it, especially when I was early on in my faith just starting a relationship with the Lord. I had such a blind spot for the pride in my life
  1. I started getting the hint where not one person but two people gave me the book “Humility” by C.J Mahaney, and thought I was doing pretty good with it
2. But one of the concepts I learned from that book was that true Christ like humility is not something that is taught but it has to be caught
  1. By looking to the example set by Jesus to seek to reflect the character of humility in my thoughts, words and deeds to everyone around me and praying to God to help me grow in that reality
    1. I found that the relationship with my parents were especially tough for me to learn how to be humble around as a young man, still trying to figure life out, and establishing my own sense of identity that is rooted in truth rather than the the world
      1. And there is all this relational baggage that comes with children to their parents as well
      2. In part this is why Jesus says, a prophet is not without honor, except in his hometown
      3. I found that while I was working hard on learning and trying to reflect what I saw in the bible, my parents knew of everything that I once was
        
        I remember my Mom at first thought I was apart of a cult, so in love for me, she wanted to come and check out church when I was first saved to make sure it was legit
    2. So many unnecessary times my pride would begin to flare up and my parents had gotten the brunt of it,
      1. as long as you continue to have your character marred by pride, you will never be able to live out this fifth commandment in worship to the Lord
    3. I don’t want anyone, especially my parents to get the wrong idea,
      1. I grew up in a loving home, with two parents who loved me and I have no shortage of things to be grateful for in that God had specifically chosen Sharon and Rich to be who He would use to bring me into this world
      2. and I know that not what everyone share this same story is as well, but I hope some of you can relate because I know I am not alone in this
      3. and so when I speak of my own deficiency in this I want to be clear, it is my fault, not my parents but my own, that God is continuing to cultivate the humility required to worship him in this fifth commandment
  2. The parent-child relationship is a unique one and for a child to learn to honor their parents it requires a character of humility. And I am still very much, learning how to do that
    1. I am learning that I do not need to be right all the time with my parents,
    2. and that I should express gratitude more often for the many things my parents did right in raising me and the sacrifice that took on their part
    3. and remember that they too are just human beings as well doing what they think is best,
    4. And I should actively look to extend the same grace and mercy that I have been given by God, and live my life with the understanding that my life will be their legacy that will go on when they are no longer here.

But this is not an easy process to navigate from a child to a parent,
1. That is why God had designed the role of the parent in the way that He did
  1. The main function of a parent is to be a teacher in the life of their children and
    1. have their lives point their children to who God is, and what He has done.
  2. They are to demonstrate the character of humility required to live this commandment out of honoring your Father and Mother in the way that is considered worship to the Lord, with a humble heart
    1. Because if they don’t, the world will be sure to teach them.
    2. And the world shows that honor is conditional, which is what makes this commandment so counter to the world.
2. God listed this commandment first in how we are to worship Him through how we interact with others, because if we can not honor our parents who gave us life, that we can see with our eyes, than how will it be that we can honor God who used our parents to give us life that we can not yet see.
  1. If you are like me and see how so many times in your own life as a follower of Christ that you failed in this then my encouragement is to
  2. Praise God, Father, Spirit and Son for His grace, praise Him for his forgiveness, His mercies are new every single morning but you need to walk in that newness of life that he offers through the forgiveness of your sins.

The reality is for many people the most challenging relationship they will have as adults will be the relationship with our parents.
1. This command requires us not to run from it, but puts the emphasis on our need to have our character grow in the very humility that is so perfectly demonstrated by Christ’s life.

For us as Christians, we have been adopted into God’s family, we are not to be like the world.
1. We know this, we talk about this often, but there are two dangers that can deceive you in your intentionality in trying to live out Christ centered humility
  1. First, is self-righteousness, which is any degree of you thinking that either others are worse than you by them doing x,y, or z. Or that you are better than anyone else because you do x, y or z. Your life can either display self righteousness or Christ’s righteousness but not both.
  2. The second danger is isolationism, this does not just go to the hermits of the world but this is where you will also avoid interacting with others who hold different views than you.
  3. These are the two main things that as Christ followers, we need to be aware of as common traps the enemy will get us to fall into,
    1. These both can produce a pride that will be antithetical to the humble character required to living out the fifth commandment as worship to your God

Humility

A biblical definition of humility is to have an accurate understanding of who you are in light of who God is.
1. This means for us as followers of Christ, we understand that all of humanity stands equally in the camp of being condemned because of our sin that separates us from life itself.
2. All of mankind was made in His image, and we have all fallen short of His desire for his creation.
3. But Beloved, if we confess our sin to Jesus, he is faithful and just to forgive us, as our advocate before the Father.

humility is having an accurate understanding of who you are, in light of who God is.
1. We were sinners, standing as enemies before a holy and good Heavenly Father,
2. but by faith in Christ for the forgiveness of our sins, He adopted us into His family and now we are His children,
3. and He is calling us to live as our older brother Jesus showed us how to live by the power of His Holy Spirit in us as our helper in this life, because this life is not just hard, it is impossible to do without God’s Spirit leading us in living out what we have come to know as truth.

So when we are talking about honoring parents, or anyone else really, in a way that is worshiping to God, the heart behind it must be one of humility.
1. A humble heart understands that we were all made in the image of God, and that Christ went to the cross for the sins of the whole world
2. and if my God shows this person such incredible dignity and value not because of anything they have done, but just because of His image being upon them, then how can I not show that person honor, for the very same reasons.

Honoring Parents

Why does the fifth commandment specifically talk about children honoring parents then?
1. I believe the reason why God issues the command from child to parent is one, because we all are children of someone so this covers everyone,
  1. even the first relationship that God had created in creation was between Him and his son Adam.
2. And two because humility is not something that can be taught, it must be caught.
  1. A young child’s identity is going to be learned and tied to what their parents show and teach them, and how a child will learn to see and relate to God will most often be tied to how they relate to their parents.

So while this command is addressed to children, every single parent’s ears would have been perked up at the hearing of this command.
1. Because you can explain humility, and honor, give children a simple and true definition, but when your actions don’t reflect the truth that you speak of,
  1. that will always have much more impact on your children than your words ever could.
  2. And parents, you will fail at living this out, you will fall short, and that is the beautiful thing about our faith as followers of Jesus Christ.
2. when we fall short, we don’t need to hide or justify ourselves,
  1. in fact you are not supposed to, because we already have been justified through Christ who there is no hiding from.
  2. Be free to acknowledge your shortcomings especially to your children, and in the same breath point your children to the one who has no shortcomings,
    1. who has never failed and never will.

Just as we are God’s image bearers meant to reflect God’s character and nature, your children are made in you and your spouses image.
1. This command goes from the child to parent relationship because in God’s sovereignty He chose exactly who your parents would be. If you had a different mother or a different father, you would not exist.
2. The role of the parent in the life of a child is to be a teacher, and the role of a child is to honor their parent.
  1. But if a parent’s world view teaches that honor is something that is based on merit or position rather than being inherent to a person being a person simply made in the image of God just as they are,
  2. Well that teaches children that not everyone is to be shown dignity, and not every person has inherent worth or value.
  3. God calls children, young and old, to honor their parents, because if there is anyone who will see and experience the shortcomings of a parent, it is going to be their children.

This is why the word honor is so important in the command because it is not ever based on the worthiness of the parent.
1. Which on one side we ought to be overjoyed and grateful for because by God’s grace, we only know half of the things that we fall short in and that are not worthy of honor in, (for the other half we just need to ask our spouses).
2. But on the other side of the same coin, which one of you is excited to show honor to someone who you know is just as messed up as you are?

Beloved, if you believe in the God of the bible, the creator and redeemer over all things,
1. it is not difficult to see why we are to worship him. Supposing you took God at His word and believed that He is what He had said that He is, just on that logic alone it makes a lot of sense to worship Him. Then just take the time to compare yourself to God, your abilities against His, there is no way to even measure the distance between you and him.
2. That doesn’t make it any more possible to worship him in our own strength though, it is still something we, as His followers need to continually rely on His Holy Spirit for, and the example of the Son to honor and worship our 3-in-1 God.
3. To empower us to live lives that will continually be growing in our desire, devotion and delight in our worship of Him. Commandments 1-3, all things that pertain to our worship directly to Him logically it makes sense, if you believe what the bible says about the Father, the Spirit, and the Son.

But a far greater leap in logic is this fifth commandment here, there is no qualifying factor to the command, that we are to honor the parents who deserve it, and those who don’t deserve it
1. There is no other command in all of the old testament that even stands parallel to the demand given in this fifth command saying that we need to honor any other person in society. But God here calls us to honor our parents without exception,
  1. you are called to show them value and dignity because they are not only made in His image,
  2. but because he specifically had chosen them as vessels He would use to bring you into this world, and without them, there is no you.
  3. So by honoring your parents you are honoring the divine decision that God had made that had resulted in you having life.

Conclusion

Honor looks different from person to person, from place to place and from time to time but the sole qualifier of what makes this living out this commandment of showing your parents value and dignity is are you doing it with a character of humility, that same character that we can witness from the life of Christ. Paul writes this in Philippians 2:1–11
1. [1] So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, [2] complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. [3] Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. [4] Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. [5] Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, [6] who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, [7] but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. [8] And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. [9] Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, [10] so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, [11] and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. (ESV)

There is so much more that could be said in this matter, there is so much confusion on what it means to honor and the character that is required to live this command out in a way that would be worship to the Lord, and hopefully today some of that was cleared up for you
1. But we must look to the life of Christ
  1. there has never been, nor will there ever be a greater example of humility for us to intentionally try to imitate with our lives.
  2. There are practical principles that go with living out this command that we see demonstrated through the life of Christ,
  3. but what this message was on today was where our worship to the Lord in this fifth command needs to start
    1. To focus on your character as a representative of God’s family from which the actions of honor will flow from
2. But, along with this message, for those who are interested, I did prepare a simple bible study for you to go through on your own time at your own pace, so can snap a picture of this QR code and that will take you there
  1. This is a good opportunity for you to take between you and the Lord,
    1. Rather than just hearing these sermons from week to week where so much will be lost, this will give you and opportunity to honor the Lord by allowing His word to speak into your life directly
    2. And hopefully this study can be a good resource for you in this that will highlight specific principles you can see from three scriptural instances, directly from the life of Christ on
  2. how he honored both his earthly parents and heavenly Father and doing so perfectly.
  3. Remember beloved, humility and honor is something that is caught rather than taught. Catch it from Christ, look at His word and allow His word to look back at you
  4. This commandment can not be done in a heart that is filled with pride but can only be done by a heart that has been born from above.

I want to conclude this message with the reading of a psalm 116, so read along with me in your bible or pull it up on your phone. I want you to see the words as I read this psalm to you.

I feel when you understand the context of this better it will convey a picture how just how beautiful Jesus is and the humility that we should seek to embody, in order to live out honoring our parents as worship to the Lord, by reflecting the humility Christ of we just read of in Philippians 2

This psalm would have been the last hymn that Jesus sang before leaving the upper room where he shared his last super with his disciples before heading to the garden and then ultimately the cross

He sang these words, all while knowing fully what was about to unfold, knowing he would be betrayed, spit upon, tortured, beaten, crucified and ultimately suffocated to death. Yet no one took His life from him, He was not forced into this, He willingly laid it down for us, and as I read this psalm, I want you to think about the reality that Christ knew that he would soon face giving even greater weight to Him singing these words of praise to His Father in heaven

[1] I love the LORD, because he has heard

my voice and my pleas for mercy.

[2] Because he inclined his ear to me,

therefore I will call on him as long as I live.

[3] The snares of death encompassed me;

the pangs of Sheol laid hold on me;

I suffered distress and anguish.

[4] Then I called on the name of the LORD:

“O LORD, I pray, deliver my soul!”

[5] Gracious is the LORD, and righteous;

our God is merciful.

[6] The LORD preserves the simple;

when I was brought low, he saved me.

[7] Return, O my soul, to your rest;

for the LORD has dealt bountifully with you.

[8] For you have delivered my soul from death,

my eyes from tears,

my feet from stumbling;

[9] I will walk before the LORD

in the land of the living.

[10] I believed, even when I spoke:

“I am greatly afflicted”;

[11] I said in my alarm,

“All mankind are liars.”

[12] What shall I render to the LORD

for all his benefits to me?

[13] I will lift up the cup of salvation

and call on the name of the LORD,

[14] I will pay my vows to the LORD

in the presence of all his people.

[15] Precious in the sight of the LORD

is the death of his saints.

[16] O LORD, I am your servant;

I am your servant, the son of your maidservant.

You have loosed my bonds.

[17] I will offer to you the sacrifice of thanksgiving

and call on the name of the LORD.

[18] I will pay my vows to the LORD

in the presence of all his people,

[19] in the courts of the house of the LORD,

in your midst, O Jerusalem.

Praise the LORD! (ESV)

Who could ever be worthy of such a beautiful savior?

If you choose to go through the practical principles that Christ demonstrated in how he lived this out, you be blessed for it, scan the qr code and if you have trouble with that I can just email you directly

But for today the goal was simply to clear up the muddy waters with what honor is and how in order to worship the Lord through this command we need a character that reflects the humility that was demonstrated by Christ himself, and we can not live this command out in our own strength but need to rely upon the Lord.

If you are a child of someone and if you are a child of God, by the power of His Spirit and the truth of His word. Honor your parents, and it will be well with you in the land. Be blessed beloved. Lets pray